This weekend I attended a party for the first time in a while and what happened there was a little troubling. It was not high alcohol consumption or the few people passed out at various locations in the house that bothered me.

The scary part was how classless some men and women have become. Numerous guys were trying to get to third base with the girl they were dancing with, and the girls were wearing skirts that were so short it begged the question, why bother wearing them at all?

The dancing in general was also alarming. I understand we’re past the standing at arm’s length phase, but do we have to do the same humping motion to every song?

As disturbing as this trend has become it could be worse. We could be dogs.

During fall break I took my 8-month-old Australian Shepherd, Sydney, to a no leash dog park. The day was nice and I was excited to see my dog run around and play with other dogs. Unfortunately, I was not prepared for what would transpire.

At first things were harmless enough. He would run around and bark at the other dogs and they would do the same. Then it all went downhill. Any female dog within his vicinity, he would attempt to mount. No courtship. No romance. He just jumped on until I pushed him off.

Sydney would not stop there though. If he was not jumping any female that moved, he was licking crotches, both male and female.

It was at this point I came to the sad conclusion that my dog is a classless pervert.

In his defense, it was not just Sydney. Other dogs, male and female alike, were participating in this indecent behavior. There was one female golden retriever in particular that would best be described as easy. When a dog was licking near her crotch, she would lift her leg for easy access.

There was even one point when Sydney chased a chocolate Labrador into the bushes and did not emerge until five minutes later. I don’t know what went on in those bushes, and quite frankly, I do not want to.

The scariest part of this whole ordeal was that the other dog owners did not care about what their dogs were doing in public. One woman was even cheering her dog on as it attempted to fornicate with a yellow Lab. Am I the only one who sees a problem with this?

After 20 minutes of chasing Sydney around and making sure he did not make any little Sydneys, I put his leash back on and we immediately left the park.

As humans, we might not be at this point yet, but we’re certainly moving in that direction. If I have a daughter, she will not be allowed to go out after 8 p.m. and when she does go out, I’m going to force her to wear a set of full-body chain mail.

Sports Editor: Jeff Rickel - 11/07/07