Destiny: Destiny, the younger of the Jacksons, had her first child, Tariana, when she was 15. Five months after she missed a period, she skipped school one day and went to Burlington Pediatrics, where she learned that she was already about to finish her second trimester. Tariana’s father denied his responsibility to her until she was 4 years old, so for most of Tariana’s life, Destiny has raised her alone.

School proved to be a particularly hard challenge for Destiny during her first pregnancy.

Other girls at her high school would make rude comments to Destiny, and some would even purposefully bump into her in the hallway or push her into lockers. After a while, Destiny began going to all of her classes late to avoid the ridicule she faced in the hallways.

The pressure she faced at school eventually caused Destiny to drop out. When she was 16, she gave birth to her second daughter, Isis Jackson. Having two children quickly proved to be much harder than having one.

After Destiny had her third daughter, Ashanti Vaughn, her children were placed in foster care for a year. She became pregnant with her son, Camar, during that period, which made it harder to get her children back.

Destiny and her three daughters were finally reunited last May, and she has been working hard and enjoying their presence ever since.

“I was doing real bad,” Destiny said, “But I got through it. I pulled myself through that and I’m doing a lot better than I was.”

Destiny eventually attended Alamance Community College (ACC) to earn her GED and found a job with Hallfield Presbyterian Homes. She currently lives in an apartment through Burlington Housing Authority with all four of her children, and sees her sister Stacy and her grandmother frequently. Tariana’s father gives Destiny financial support and now visits often.

“He tries to be there as much as he can now because he says he missed out on so much of her life,” Destiny said. “He’s stepped up and does a lot.”

Tariana, 5, Isis, 3, and Ashanti, 1, love the things most little girls love: playing dress-up, collecting princess toys, and getting into their mother’s makeup.

“I love them to death,” Destiny. “They make me feel so good. If no one else will say it, my kids will say, ‘Mama, I love you.’”

Destiny plans to keep working her current job and is thinking of going back to ACC for degrees in medical transcription and business management. Destiny would like to buy a house so her children will have a better environment to play in.

“I want to be there for them,” Destiny said. “I want them to know that no matter what, they can always come to me. I’d never turn them down. No matter what the situation it is, I’ll be there.”

Stacy: Stacy found out she was pregnant with Jaquavian, her first child, when she was 15 years old. The next few months were a whirlwind experience for the young girl.

While Stacy continued to go to high school, she also worked various part-time jobs at fast food restaurants. Her baby’s father offered little financial assistance, so Stacy had to work hard to pay for all of the preparation she needed.

The stress of her pregnancy caused Stacy to deliver Jaquavian two months early. Children of teen mothers have a higher likelihood of being born prematurely or with a low birth weight, and after his birth, Jaquavian had to stay at Alamance Regional Medical Center for two months.

Stacy went into a severe depression after giving birth to her son, and the next few years would prove challenging.

Managing her time became difficult for Stacy. She spent long days at Williams High School and then went to work at a fast food job every night to support her new baby.

“One thing I can say is that my family was very supportive,” Stacy said. Her grandmother and sister Destiny helped raise Jaquavian.

But what helped Stacy the most was the love she felt from her son. When Jaquavian became old enough, he would wait at the door for his mother to come home from school every day. The first thing Stacy would see when she stepped off the school bus in the afternoon was her son, standing at the glass front door, pulling the small curtain to the side.

“I would just run to him,” Stacy said. “It’s hard to be at school all day and stay focused when you want to be at home.”

Stacy became pregnant with JyQuel, her second son, in the eleventh grade. Unlike Jaquavian’s father, JyQuel’s father Maurice claimed his baby from the beginning, and supported Stacy during and after the pregnancy. With support from Maurice and her family, Stacy graduated from Williams with honors and enrolled at ACC.

Stacy worked her way through ACC, using a scholarship that Williams had awarded her. Daughter Emotion was born during this time. Stacy graduated from ACC on the Dean’s List as a certified nursing assistant.

Stacy currently works for Arcadia Healthcare. She and Maurice live in an apartment through Burlington Housing Authority and have enrolled in Family Self Sufficiency, a program where members set financial goals to achieve economic independence.

With one son about to start first grade and one preparing for kindergarten, Stacy’s role as a mother is constantly changing. She said dealing with the skate nights, sports and homework of just one of her sons can be exhausting. Add to that her own job and schoolwork, and Stacy’s life seems like a constant race just to keep up.

Stacy began a two-year nursing program for an associates degree at ACC in August. She will then aim for a bachelor’s degree at UNC-G.

Teen mothers on teen pregnancy: The four teens interviewed for this series were asked questions about their personal opinions on various aspects of teen pregnancy. Their firsthand experiences lent a collection of thoughts and advice that may shed new light on the widely debated topic of teen pregnancy.

Struggling with stigma: Of the many obstacles teen mothers face, one of the biggest challenges presented to them is discrimination. Stereotypes about teen mothers abound, and feeling stigmatized and judged makes the daily struggles of teen parenthood even harder for young mothers.

“It was just those small little things when people whispered and pointed and gave me those dirty looks those are the things that put teen moms down,” Megan Lambert said. “We’re already feeling bad because we’re pregnant and we’re teenagers. Why would you put us down lower? Bring us up a little bit.”

Strangers judge young mothers prematurely, Megan said, even when they themselves may know little about the true experience of teenage parenthood.

“The reality of being a young mother is just that people look down on us because they don’t know how it is for us,” Megan said. “They don’t know how hard it is for us.”

“If they haven’t been through it or know someone that’s been through it that’s close to them, they really don’t care,” Kaya Lambert said.

“They don’t know what it’s like, so why should they criticize us?” Megan said.

Ashleigh Grahm and Megan say that dealing with constant judgment has given them thicker skin.

“People talk, but I don’t even care,” Grahm said. “Because they don’t help me raise my baby. So I don’t care what they say. Talk is cheap. I had to learn that a long time ago.”

“If people are going to look down on me because I’m married with a child at 17, then that’s their fault,” Megan said. “They’re missing out on someone who could be a really good friend.”

But people have as much power to lift teen mothers up as they have to bring them down. Just talking to a teen mother in the grocery store, Megan said, can help that teen feel stronger and more confident that she can persevere.

“Don’t put us down because we’re teen moms,” Megan said. “Try and encourage us and get us thinking that we can do this. Give us encouragement. Support us.”

Finding solutions: Teen pregnancy prevention programs in North Carolina take a wide variety of approaches toward lowering adolescent pregnancy rates. Outdoor recreation, theater groups, individual mentoring and free classes are only a handful of the avenues prevention programs have taken in recent years. Many teen mothers, however, have their own ideas about what types of prevention tactics would be most effective.

Megan said that if she could start any school prevention program, she would offer a sex education class where teens would experience a virtual pregnancy for a week. Girls would wear nine-month-pregnant fake bellies during the school day and watch a video of labor, while boys would be given jobs around the school such as picking up trash or running errands for teachers.

“I’d have them actually feel what it was like to be pregnant,” Megan said.

Brittany O’Daniel suggests offering free birth control and increasing the amount of advertising for contraceptives, while Kaya offers the idea of walk-in clinics where teens could receive birth control and pregnancy help without having to make an appointment.

Graham said that a peer mentoring program would be most effective; teen mothers could talk to other teens individually and share with them the realities of teen parenthood.

“I’d rather talk to a girl one-on-one,” Grahm said. “She would relate to me because I’ve been through a lot of stuff in my life.”

A school peer-mentoring program like the one Ashleigh suggests could serve as an effective, yet currently overlooked, pregnancy prevention technique. Teen mothers like Megan, Kaya, Brittany and Ashleigh have learned a great deal from their own experiences as parents, and they have plenty of insight and advice to offer other teen girls who attend their high schools. Many teen mothers already know exactly what guidance they would give other girls their age.

“Wait until you get stable in your own home, until you finish school,” Graham said. “Just wait, basically. Once the baby comes, you’re not going to be able to do what you used to do.”

“Don’t trust anybody but yourself,” Kaya said. “If I had listened to myself, I probably wouldn’t be in this situation. Respect your body. Most girls don’t.”

Peer mentoring can serve as more than just a prevention strategy. Support groups like the Adolescent Parenting Program (APP) can help teens who are pregnant or have already had children learn effective parenting techniques, avoid repeat pregnancies and stay in high school. In this kind of peer-mentoring environment, teen mothers can share their stories with one another and help each other through the problems they all face. For teen mothers, Megan said, believing in oneself is key.

“No matter what anybody tells you or says about you, know in yourself that you can do this,” Megan said she would tell other teen mothers. “You can go and get your high school diploma and take care of that baby. Don’t let those little things get to you. Just brush them off your shoulder.”

Special Features Editor: Andie Diemer - 10/24/07