Volume XXIX Issue 10 October 30, 2003

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  THE GURU
Welcome to Elon’s version of ‘Dear Abby.’ This weekly column will entertain you with questions from the minds of actual Phoenix students.

“Is there such a thing as the perfect woman?”
 

Women are a confusing lot, aren’t they? Always changing their minds, switching their opinions and, for the most part, being incredibly indecisive.

And then, just when you think you have figured them out, they go and do something like change their hair back to their "natural" color.

Right.

But when it really comes down to it, all you want to do is have a good look under the hood (and the trunk in some cases).

Because, let’s face it, girls are really just like cars.

Care for a ride?

You have the Porsche —one sexy machine. That baby can hug curves like no other. She is fun, flashy and definitely sets your pulse racing. But while her, um, engine may be massive, inside it’s not the most comfortable car. A Porsche isn’t really a substance automobile. She’s fun for a few miles, but would you trust her with your best friend?

On the other end of the spectrum you have the Volkswagen Bug. Cute, cheerful and bubbly—almost too bubbly. While this car may seem fun and funky, its hip-ness can get a little annoying. Do you really want an automobile that can color-coordinate itself to your outfit? But I am sure you just love the fact that you can hear the Backstreet Boys tunes blaring from a mile away.

For a car that doesn’t mind a little dirt, you have the Ford F150. Talk about Ford tough, this car doesn’t mind getting her hands dirty. With her love of country music and her tractor fetish, she is the perfect car for a good ol’ Southern boy.

Unless you plan on getting season tickets to Slaw Slam, then I recommend you continue test-driving some other automobiles.

You cannot forget the SUV now that is an adventure car. Not only is she great for family life, she also doesn’t mind a little off-roading—if you know what I mean. She can go from a weekend in the country to a dinner meeting in the city with no more than a quick wash. She is even country club appropriate. Only problem is that she is very hard to handle, and lets face it, your gaze keeps going to the convertible in the next lane.

Last but not least there is the Honda. Safe and reliable, this car has been there since the beginning. It’s not too flashy, and you know how to push all the right buttons—literally. You know this car inside out. The problem is you know this car a little too well, and to tell the truth the "adorable" little ding on the bumper just isn’t so cute anymore. And now that your buddy got a new Nissan, you’ve been wondering why you haven’t gotten a new car yet either.

That’s what is so wonderful about leasing. You can try out as many cars as you want. That way when it does come down to it, you will be able to make a decision on what car is perfect just for you.

Just remember to do some test-driving before you sign the check for the down payment. 

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